I was reading an article in a local newspaper few days back. It was written somewhere there that we are not just the size of our bank account, the neighborhood we live in, or the type of work we do. We are, just like everyone else, an almost inconceivably complicated mix of abilities and limitations. A new kind of New Year’s resolution is becoming increasingly popular. Instead of dwelling on something they think is wrong with them and resolving to improve, a lot of people are taking a different approach. They are resolving to accept themselves. They are good people, complete people.
I will tell you about a person who is a member of a group that spreads the acceptance philosophy. I came to know about this in a book on happiness. She explains that she used to feel like she was in a trap she could not get out of. She would try to correct herself and change herself, and the failure to change was actually worse than the original problem itself. She felt like a maniac because of the pressures to change and the weight of failure. Now she counsels accepting ourselves, which does not mean ignoring our faults or never trying to improve. What it does mean is to believe in our own value first, last, and always. Most of my friend’s have a similar idea to believe in our own value always and not to disrespect others values.
More often we find it difficult to accept the truth because of fear of its possible outcome. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy finding out fault, right or wrong about something. Eventually we could not decide about something well and live in a confused state of mind. These kinds of confusion and inability to reach a justifiable conclusion often hamper our growth process. There is a need to think differently and act according to the situation we face. We can do all these if we can accept ourselves.
Let’s have a look at a survey on adults of different age groups. In a study of adult self-esteem, researchers found that people who are happy with themselves take defeat and explain it away, treating it as an isolated incident that does not reveal anything about their ability. People who are unhappy take defeat and let it grow, making it stand for the people who they feel are the cause behind their defeat and they use it to predict the outcome of their future life events. They are usually pessimists by nature. They can’t view things positively at first in case of any such event and keep themselves worried over it for long. This is because they are not in a sound frame of mind to accept them unless and until they realize how much damage are they causing to themselves by not accepting their fault. We need to treat them with care, honor and dignity and listen to them carefully before giving them any suggestion.
Sooner we can accept ourselves; the faster will be our growth. No body can restrict our growth then. We can take the example of the former American president Mr. Bill Clinton. He accepted himself, his fault and American people allowed him to live a life with dignity in their society. Well it came after a long exercise and a grueling experience. Let’s don’t do that with ourselves. We must accept ourselves sooner than later for prosperity and growth. The more we try to escape situations the bigger will be our problem.
We often face difficulty accepting ourselves at first because of the fear of failure, rejection and often social acceptance at times. There is a need here to accept ourselves unconditionally without attempting to prove ourselves right and others wrong. Healthy discussions, arguments and conflicts are good for the growth of all. Let’s don’t try to prove others wrong just to make our point right. There is a definite way to make people understand the reality and truth about something by proper approach and discussion. We need to find that out according to a particular situation because it may vary from one situation to another. That does not mean to compromise with situations. So let’s come out of all kind of pressure, accept ourselves, life as it comes to us and help ourselves in building a convivial workplace & society at large for optimum growth.
* First published at http://writersatchatterati.blogspot.in/ on Wednesday, 26 December 2007