Before thinking and writing on this topic, I wish all my blog readers and well wishers a Merry Christmas…
I had discussion with many on this topic in the past. People have different views. I want to share here few of my own views as i see it through the journey of my life.
Love should never die even with the ugliest of truths.
No preconditions allowed to be set for love.
This is not love but a deal with life when people think like i am this and this is my preference. Now you are this and i can love you only when you become this and able to fulfill my needs. This is selfish expectation from life.
Love is sacred and beyond all these thoughts. It is so fresh and airy, it can only lift our soul up. We may go into depression at times when our desires not fulfilled and demand not met. But these thoughts are temporary and vanish over time when we realise the power of love.
Love gives new life and never death. It guides us in a new direction to rediscover ourselves and find the true purpose of life.
To understand unselfish love we can think of the love and affection that parents have for their children. They have no demand but only love and care in return. They feel joyous with the growth and success of their children.
Lot more to think and write…
Loneliness is just a mindset. We are never lonely when we have developed good habits to lead our life and disciplined ourselves. For a disciplined living we can build TODO lists for our own and prioritise our self-owned tasks. We need to verify our DONE list too at regular intervals and make a note of all backlogs. To lead is to assign tasks yourself in sync with your life goals and not to wait for something to be assigned to you. After all it’s your life and you need to take charge.
Sometimes we find loneliness too boring and at times we feel it like a blessing. We want to complete few pending tasks and this is the best time as we can’t achieve great results among a crowd. You just want to be with you and in the presence of God as your guardian. None other.
I often feel lonely in the absence of friends and family around me. This is a common case with many of us who don’t find many options to choose from rather than staying at a distant place away from our loved ones. Most of the time we impose such restrictions on us to meet our financial needs. And all this at the cost of our happiness. We often talk to our own when we don’t find anybody around to express ourselves. We indulge in watching TV, playing games and in my case I prefer reading & writing. Many have their own habits as per choice.
What makes you happy? Is it your relationship with others, your bank balance or both? There is no common consensus but in most cases people talk about money as their prime source of happiness.
Our mind from our childhood was conditioned to earn more money for a better living and successful relationships. We are even told to study hard and be on top of all in competition to be more successful and make more wealth. Money even breaks relationships but people still prefer money over relationships.
The thought process is like this – I must do a good job and make a lot of money to secure my future for a better living. We are in no mood to do a compromise even when we can get a less lucrative job at our hometown. Our only motivation is money and a high class society. And we believe we can chase our dream only when we work with topnotch MNCs who can offer us a fat paycheck.
Have you ever felt yourself isolated even when you are among people – say your coworkers or among a group of friends on a weekend? If your answer is yes you must have a solid reason for that. In my case it used to be so on many occasions few years back but not anymore. I will tell you my reason some other time. You write and share your story with me.
We need to be truthful to our own first. We should not always try to please others and lead a false life claiming something I have sacrificed for her/him. This is purely self betrayal. We can’t please everyone in our life and there is no need to try that too. You can have a fulfilling life if you are at peace with others as much as with your own. An agitated mind can’t build fruitful relationships. Loneliness disappear with strong relationships. You can build that with people, environment (plants & animals) and also with the books you like. A good bookshelf is like a company of friends.
We should not blame anyone for a failed relationship. It’s up to us how to safeguard a relationship. We can find hundreds of ways to stay in touch with people we want in our life. The real question is our level of interest and commitment. We must be in a position to build an environment of trust, respect and friendship with all. Few relationship born and die with our mind because of the mind games we play with people. Timely action can save these relationships to last longer.
People in our lives influence our behaviour. We can always stay positive in a company of like minded people. This is the only challenge I feel. Yes, it’s important to build a circle of like minded people. They may not necessarily belong to our family only. I make friends even among strangers where I find opportunity to learn and share.
Life is stressful when we fail to find the right people in our life. Our life should be rich with people who stand for us at the time of need. They need not always support us but we must like them even for a criticism. They are always there to guide us do better. A genuine criticism from a friend worth much more than a false praise of an acquaintance.
Most of our connection at any social media like Facebook are just there to make us feel their presence by their posts. They hardly talk to us or message us. I used to receive a reply only when I initiate the communication. This is no generalisation but people prefer to stay among an elite group and for this very reason they use social networks as a medium of communication. They want to tell the world what they are up to. This is what people like these days.
I find very few initiate a call and ever try to know our well being.
I don’t say they are false connections as I never set any expectation from anyone. I believe in what I learn from others and what best I can do to all.
Ego comes into play with few on the way to effective communication. This is my recent experience when we planned and had a get together of our engineering batch mates after ten years. Few asked the same question to me you never called us except chatting over Facebook on few occasions. I really had little to explain but I could accept myself and able to keep in touch better now.
I tried and changed the context of our discussion to make it more humorous and less emotional. I told like it’s late I agree but I made it finally and happy to see you all together again after such a long gap. We had family get together with few friends during their stay at our hometown. It was a nice experience.
I felt good when thanked by others to plan this get together and taking the initiative. This thought was in my mind long back but struck me again when I started using WhatsApp and learn about WhatsApp groups. I was going through my photo album and this ideas came to mind. I found myself promptly in action the very next moment and formed a group without any delay. I had a firm belief I could find many of our friends again.
I remembered those golden days at college and felt sad how many of our friends I could keep in touch till date. Is not it possible to have a get together again? I reached out to few at Facebook and WhatsApp to share my thoughts. I formed a WhatsApp group and added those ten of our friends I was in touch. I made them all admin in the group. My thoughts got shape and our chain worked well. To my surprise we found 50 + people in the group in a weeks time from all our connection of friends who added others to the group. I found conversations day and night for first few days as if it is non stoppable now. Many played their blame game well on others for not keeping in touch so long.
This group is quite active even today after many months of its birth. Thanks to our NRI friends who keep us vigilant at times during night till late hours. I felt quite happy after knowing about successful pursuits of many of our friends. There are few millionaires now in the group by their effort and one among us recently joined the billionaire club by his net worth.
Everyone question us why did we stop calling others over phone? Well, they don’t feel good if you question back the same and I never asked that. We need to be silent when charged by others and wait for our turn to come. The more you listen others the better you can communicate your views and this is the rule in communication. Never disrupt others speaking and have respect for their views.
A relationship can tarnish if we set an expectation and fail to get expected results. I have freed myself from these emotions. I realised a simple fact quite late but have good understanding now. Everybody has their own journey of life. We may not be well aware of their journey and we should not question others with limited information. We only know about our own journey that the other person doesn’t know.
Let’s keep away with too many doubts in mind and feel happy for what we get as a result of our relationship. Your happiness graph can have a steeply upward curve if you can feel equally happy with the success and happiness of others as that of your own.
This world is beautiful when we are pure at our heart. To experience this we need to genuinely serve mankind. All are his fellow men. We serve God when we serve his fellow men with selfless hearts. He is extremely pleased to watch and guide us this time and we can feel the presence in and around.
Today i observed another fresh and sunny morning. I was sitting over a big stone laid at the beach side. Sat quietly for an hour listening to the waves and sound of the wind passing by my ears.
It’s a delight to watch the greenery around, the flowers, birds flying under the clear blue sky , the shining sun, children playing with the milky waves, people exploring their hobbies like fishing and lot more. I am pleased and quite excited with the great beginning of my day..
I have started experimenting with my own activities. I was thinking of my childhood days when i used to play a lot under the sun and what caused me not to do that now when i reached my adulthood. Is it a lack of will to find extra time or ultra busyness of the world or my bad habits that kill my time.
All of us want to gain the power from sunlight. It’s a natural medicine for the skin. I have started innovating how i can expose my skin to the early morning sun light at least twice a week. The more the better. I am thinking like if i can read a book or write something inside the room why can’t I do that sitting outside under the morning sun. I can wash my plants and do watering early morning.
Lot more we all can do to discover nature’s treasure in a way beneficial to all his creation..
Feeling great to do all good rest of my day with revitalizing thoughts…
Do share your thoughts how would you like to spend your day. I am super excited to acquire more knowledge from you!
“God never leaves his fellow men”
I came to this world
It’s on a Friday winter morning around 6.45 i came to this world as told to me by family members. All super excited with the arrival of second baby boy in family. I was wheatish in colour and quite healthy at birth. People from neighborhood started visiting us to have a look at me. My mother used to hide me. I came to know from my mother i used to keep silent most of the time and in playful mood but at times cry too much for want of food. All other time silent.
Learning to love nature, birds and animals
From crookedness to honesty
From lust to love
To be continued…
Here i am going to share few experiences with my life and my interaction with others so far…
From lust to love
Think of a time in your career when you are deeply in love. Some feelings developed within you but you don’t know if it is the same with the other person. You are in your late twenties or early thirties. This is the time when you are serious about a relationship and you want to build a family. All the feelings developed in you and within you. It’s never expressed and you are waiting for the right time. You’re still childish and unaware of the complexities of the world. When you find her alone somewhere you did a drama in real life. You started watching her constantly from a short distance. She knew about it but no reactions. Now you gained more courage thinking like it’s an acceptance. So, you started watching her movement for some more time. After sometime she felt uneasy and left the place. You still couldn’t start a conversation and she left with head down. You are still observing the person in anticipation if you can find either a positive or negative reaction. While going back and at a distance she stops for a while and looks back at you with a smile on her face. You don’t understand all this but you feel like on top of the world. You are in deep love and blind. No negative thought will ever come in mind when you are in love. You still don’t know the truth as the other side was not well expressed. You beleive it’s love and probably it was. The other side could never express herself well for some other reason and may be under pressure.
You’re very successful at this time. No real family burden. Earning a descent salary and happy with your career. Now you want to forget your dark past and start afresh with a new beginning.
Couple of weeks passed. You are busy with your work and still thoughtful what all had happened. No further interaction could ever happen and unknown fear started germinating in your mind. You feel like you may become a loser if you do it late. You ate thinking whom to ask for help. One day you called your sister and told about this. You had shared a photograph of the person in email seeking family acceptance. Your sister understood your emotions but unable to help. She remains silent for sometime and then said it’s not the right time. Better you settle yourself well first and just concentrate on your work. You felt like you will not get any active support from family at this time.
You’re finding yourself helpless with your inability to express yourself well. You’re hiding yourself here and there and unable to attend weekly meetings for a couple of weeks. You’re thinking like what could happen at the other side of you don’t express yourself soon.
When all these thoughts boggling your mind one day you received a call from thr HR department to meet them soon. A decision already made you’re not aware of. They ask you how are things going and few other questions. You’re unable to convince them. In the subsequent meeting following this you’re asked to sign a letter and go home. They said we will do all settlement and send you the letter at your home address.
Now you realise you got terminated again. You fall in love and got terminated. There is no way for a comeback. You lost your job and shivering now with unknown fear may be you’re going to lose your love as well in this process.
Alas, exactly that happened to your anticipation. You lost your job and love at the same time. Now you are dead both at your mind and heart. You are not worried about job and thinking like you may find another soon but the love is for a lifetime and you can’t afford to lose it at any cost. By this time you have already surrendered your identity and office access card. You are still thinking how to make a comeback and talk to your love once before leaving the place. In the absence of identity proof you attempted twice to meet her at office. You have no direct contact how you can call and talk to the person. Your attempt foiled as security didn’t allow you to enter the restricted area in the absence of contact person number and just with a name. They wanted to verify first with a phone whether the person i want to meet know me or not.
Now in desperation, you have lost all motivation and zeal to start again. No thought of finding another job and the only thought was to leave the place and go back home soon. After you reached home you think what to tell them. Why did i leave my job. You are now looking at the closest person in family who is not too old to you and ypu can share your feelings with. At this point you again thought of your elder sister and wanted to meet her for a discussion. She felt miserable and came for your rescue. I remember her saying the following words. She said no-one can help you but you. You must solve the issue yourself. You go delhi, you Bombay, the Himalayas or any other place. You will not have peace of mind until and unless you solve it. These thoughts will not leave you and you can’t get sound sleep. You must find a way to communicate her what’s in your mind.
You will be free forever once you do this successfully.
Few more thoughts to be updated here as it comes to mind…
Termination is something not well accepted in society. It can happen for a good reason or a bad one but in most cases for wrong reasons. Extreme offences like bad manners, not following policies , indiscipline , carelessness at work, inattentiveness, lack of seriousness and disregarding management decisions. If they are kind enough they may issue a service certificate and reliving letter. Else, we need to console ourselves with a termination order.
If god is not in our favor for sometime we may face extremely dire events following a termination.
This will be part of some other story some other time.
From death to life