B +Ve !!

A site for all positive thinkers to grow together !


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THAT LAST ENCOUNTER

This article was originally thought to be written for a different purpose. At a later point of time some other thought struck my mind and I changed the context to serve another purpose.

I was thinking about what really happened and why so much discussion after the last match of India in the ongoing T20 world cup.
Let’s analyse our learning and focus on few issues before our next match against the Aussies.

I watched till end of the match and listened to media discussions following it. I too had a close look at conversations in social media like Facebook and twitter. It’s not astonishing to see a very unusual reaction among both Indian and bangla fans.

No doubt it was another exiting game of cricket where we had to wait for the result till the last ball was bowled. Dhoni kept his cool as usual to make sure it will not go for a tie followed by a super over as a match decider and the result is well known to us.

Dhoni is a highly matured and different captain now leading India unlike how I perceived him several years back. But why he lost his cool this time against media people. I heard somewhere he accused a journalist saying like… “you are not happy India won this match”. Quite frustrating on his part as if trying to avoid the original question. Probably that was not expected and the journalist had some different issue in mind.

Whatever be the case but it was quite certain he lost his cool and I am sure it was not without a good reason. On a positive side lets analyse how tolerant we are as cricket fans and how do we view a game. Do we know how to ask the right question?

Many felt like it was a disappointing loss for Bangladesh and not a deserving win for India. Why did India fight till the last ball? This thought caused a lot of worry about our current performance as we could not accept the truth whole heartedly. Isn’t this caused by our ego?

Why do we feel another team as inferior to us when they qualified for this world cup and has been playing international cricket for a fair amount of time now. I never felt them to be weaker at any part of the game be it their bowling attack or batting. Let’s accept the truth.

We need to think in the spirit of the game and applaud all who play well. We might be playing for a long time now and having several cups in our kitty. But does that guarantee our performance forever?

Let’s think. think.. think… and do our best improving on our own skills rather than accessing that of others…

Some life lessons as follows:-

That freaking last over was a neat set of life lessons. Here is how:

Bangladesh needs 12 runs in last over. Over a billion people are on edge with their —— on cusp of despair or joy.

1. Pandya goes for 2 fours in first 3 balls. At this point game is over for India. But Pandya still keeps his head to ball some what sensibly for last 3 balls.

Life Lesson 1- It is never lost untill you lose it. Even if defeat is staring at your face.

2 . Mushfiqur hits second four in last over and punches in air. Just 2 runs needed in 3 balls. So they have won he thinks. The Bangla dugout stands clapping. Wrong assumption.

Life Lesson 2- Never count your chickens untill they are hatched. Really hatched.

3. Two runs needed in last ball. A billion people watching are trembling with nerves. Dhoni remains cool showing no emotion. In the melee of last ball when bilion minds have raced to confusion, he has sense to not throw the ball and run the batsman out. He knows he has won , yet he doesnt jump into air or punches his fist.

Life Lesson 3- Equanimity and dispassion is key to master one’s mind. No excessive joy in good time and no excessive sorrow in unfavourable times is how one should live.

4. One freak hit and Bangladesh could have won. One run in last over and it could have been a tie. Anything was possible like a random chance at toss of dice.

Life Lesson 4: There is an overall seeming randomness in life. In end you lose some and you win some by an unknown roll of dice.

Share your thoughts in comments section..


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LOST n FOUND n LOST AGAIN

I will share a nice story here from my personal experience. The title itself is quite compelling to think and write your own story. Do me a favour. You start writing yours. Share with me and your loved ones. Ask me anytime if you find it difficult to proceed further. It may help me learn from your experience and do something.

Devote yourself one hour everyday for writing and discover the magic. You will be surprised to discover yourself once more; many of your skills not so well known to you before.

Happy writing and keep enjoying what you do..

To be continued…


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WISDOM FROM GITA – EQUANIMITY

CH 2 – Wisdom is the Solution
Verses: 14-15 Equanimity is a great virtue

मात्रास्पर्शास्तु कौन्तेय,
शीतोष्णसुखदुःखदाः ।
आगमापायिनोऽनित्याः,
तांस्तितिक्षस्व भारत ॥2.14॥
यं हि न व्यथयन्त्येते,
पुरुषं पुरुषर्षभ ।
समदुःखसुखं धीरं,
सोऽमृतत्वाय कल्पते ॥2.15॥
हे कुंतीपुत्र! सर्दी-गर्मी और सुख-दुःख को देने वाले इन्द्रिय और विषयों के संयोग तो उत्पत्ति-विनाशशील और अनित्य हैं, इसलिए हे भारत! उनको तू सहन कर ।
क्योंकि हे पुरुषश्रेष्ठ! दुःख-सुख को समान समझने वाले जिस धीर पुरुष को ये इन्द्रिय और विषयों के संयोग व्याकुल नहीं करते, वह मोक्ष के योग्य होता है ।
2.14 Oh Arjuna, pleasure and pain are like heat and cold, subject to arrival and departure. One must learn to tolerate the seasonal changes without being disturbed.
2.15 Oh Arjuna, the person who remains steady in both pleasure and pain, due to his wisdom, is certainly eligible for immortality.

DETAILED ANALYSIS:
Verse-14
The last verse gave a hint of what is this thing called the eternal essence. But since none of us have ever seen it, or experienced it, we would now like to know how can we make that happen. This verse gives us a preparatory step in that regard. It advises us to develop the capability of ‘तितिक्षा titiskha’, or brave endurance against joy and sorrow.

Let’s examine each aspect of this verse. The first part of this verse makes the assertion that contact with material objects, or more specifically, contact of our senses with material objects, causes us to experience heat and cold.

How does this work? The senses react to external stimuli and send an input signal to the mind. The mind processes these sensory inputs and labels some as “सुख joy” and some as “दुःख sorrow”. A hot coffee when it is freezing weather outside gives us joy, for sure. But the same cup of hot coffee in boiling hot summer will probably not give us joy, in fact it would probably give us sorrow.

More broadly, heat and cold in this verse represent polar opposites of stimuli received by all of our sense organs. If we take the organ of sight, then heat and cold represent beauty and ugliness. If we take the organ of touch, then heat and cold represent soft and hard.

Taking this even further, we can include words as well. If someone praises us, our ego-centred mind gets a boost, and we experience pleasure at that point. But if someone insults us, or criticizes us, our ego-centered mind feels threatened and we experience sorrow at that point.

So to summarize, our sense organs and our ego can get affected by external stimuli. But, instead of labelling each external stimulus as joy or sorrow, what if we remained steady through each of them? Instead of labelling these stimuli as “सुख joy” and “दुःख sorrow”, could we begin to label them differently?

Let’s say your boss gave you a mouthful of criticism after your sales presentation at work. His words came through your ears, the ears sent a signal to your mind, and the mind took this criticism and labelled it as “sorrowful” or “painful”. Instead, what would happen if we labelled this as something neutral e.g. “useful information”, and used it to improve our next presentation? And if the words were not really criticism, but were veiled or direct insults, what would happen if we labelled them as “irrelevant” or “noise” or “chatter”?

Now you may say, yes, that sounds good in theory, but how do we do it in practice? The second part of the verse gives a clue in this regard. It says that any contact with material objects is temporary, it will appear and then disappear, and it has a beginning and an end. Therefore, if we know that something has an end, why should we let it bother us? Or conversely, if we know that a pleasant situation has ended, if the child’s bubble has burst, why should we grieve about it?

Again, you may say that developing this तितिक्षा titiksha, this brave endurance, would still be difficult. Just like losing weight is not something that happens overnight, developing तितिक्षा titiksha will also not happen overnight. You need to follow a structured, disciplined technique to do so, and the Gita will go into this topic in depth.

So then, what is the benefit of developing this तितिक्षा titiksha? We shall see very soon.

(Note – Heat, cold, joy, sorrow etc. are termed as ” विकार Vikaara”. Vikaara means a temporary modification of some thing or some substance that is permanent.)

Verse-15
Most people who read this verse immediately zero in on the last part (अमृतत्वाय immortality) and quickly ask the question “will this mean that if I follow the teaching in this verse, I will never die?”. Immortality here does not refer to a state where our body never perishes, or a state where we go to heaven and enjoy its delights forever.

What is meant here is that life is a series of experiences that arise, exist temporarily, and perish. The person who knows the “trick” of staying BALANCED through these experiences will attain a state where they will transcend the push and pull of these experiences, and will eventually get to touch that changeless, eternal essence that came up in the earlier verses. One who does not get affected by agitation is called “धीर dheera”.

So how do we bring this down to our daily lives? Let’s first look at a simple question. Why do someone else’s agitations do not impact us? Because we do not associate our “I” with someone else’s agitations. Similarly, our “I” is also not associated with our body/mind/intellect related agitations and conditions. If there is a fragrance in the room, we do not say “I am fragrant”. Therefore, we should strive to keep the joyful or sorrowful condition from associating with the “I”. Instead of saying “I am sad”, we can say, “there is sadness”.

Furthermore, we have seen instances where people are ready to endure pain and sorrow when they attach themselves to a higher ideal. A parent will endure a lot of suffering so that he or she can educate the child. A freedom fighter will endure torture, or even die for the cause of the country’s freedom. This verse is asking us to become wise and aim for the highest possible ideal, that of the eternal essence.

We have been repeatedly hearing about the eternal essence in these verses. Can we get a deeper understanding?

(Footnotes: The word “समsama” contains the word “मा maa” meaning mother. The mother’s loving attitude towards her child is same regardless of how the child behaves or misbehaves. Her attitude is “sama” or even-keel.)


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MY VALUES, ETHICS & RELATIONSHIPS

What is more important to you? Ethics, values or relationships. You may say all are equally important. But that’s not the case here. You need to choose one as they are in different directions and we can’t unite all.

Sounds harsh? Questioning yourself what kind of dilemma is this? It was like asking somebody whom do you love most your father or mother? Adults may not respond well but if you ask the same question to a baby, you may get an answer spontaneously as they speak from heart.

Here lies the difference – a human heart. A baby’s heart is quite different unlike adults as it’s not exposed to too many complexities of life. It needs to be protected as long as possible.

I am coming back to my previous question now. What to choose between ethics and relationships even when they are of equal priority but you don’t have a choice to pick all. Let’s remember here we develop relationships as per our values and ethics give protection to our long term values.

Have you got an answer? So ethics is the most important entity for a successful relationship, a successful enterprise and all you name it.

What’s going on in your mind now? Ethics at the cost of relationships as I said earlier they are going in different directions.

It’s very hard and difficult to imagine losing people in life. In the journey of life at one juncture I found myself isolated and abandoned not having a single support. No family or friends. The whole world moving in a different direction and you are standing far looking to move in the opposite direction?

Some people ask me what will you achieve doing all this when nobody with you. Some other say this person is too egoistic; leave him and let him die alone. He is a mad person trying to achieve the impossible and change this world alone against all odds.

The basic question is still there. What kind of society can we build at the cost if people. I can’t be a peoples person. Most ethical organisations have a people first culture. They focus on the need of their people first and don’t try to achieve quick results. That doesn’t mean they try to make profit and build people first culture at the cost of ethics.

They are always ready to sacrifice their personal needs in the interest of people. They provide enough space and the necessary room for change to create an environment where people can understand the need and drive themselves.
The difference between good companies and great companies lies in this room for change. They have great change agents working 24/7 to build people for a better society.

Not everything is in human control. There are certain aspects that need divine intervention and we can come to know it only at the right time as destined.

Let’s think what we can do to achieve a better and unidirectional sync between our ethics and relationships.

– First of all let’s forgive ourselves for all the accumulated bad deeds (karma) that was beyond our control.
– Above is most important as we can’t think positive and move forward unless we do this.
– Give proper attention to all your loved ones
– Don’t complicate small matters and make issue out of it.
– Educate yourself and all others in your community about social need. This will differ as per age and experience of people.
– Don’t cling on too much to your past. Let people know you because of your present. Leave your past behind and rediscover yourself.

Life is full of challenges but still beautiful to explore all it’s aspects. Think good, do good and you can do a lot of good to yourself, your family and the society at large. Love your life, live your life and enjoy this journey called life…

** This is an unfinished article. I will try to complete that with valuable reader inputs. Errors any may be ignored for the time being as I am writing all these on a mobile text editor these days.


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REDISCOVER YOURSELF WITH LOVE

Wise don’t suffer. Root cause of all suffering is our desire and we experience all bitterness because of our unfulfilled desire.
It causes pain only when you run after material gain. It’s win+win for all when love is selfless.

There is nothing above love in this world. It can do miracles for our society if accompanied with values.

How do you evaluate others. Let them do the same for themselves. This is the only way for better introspection and it will help them discover their own self. This self discovery can reap great benefits to our society. It will help them do good for all as they are enabled champions now. They understand well the need.

Love should be your strength and never weakness. Desire only causes pain when it remains unfulfilled. Love can’t cause pain to anyone.

I am a great fan of Robin. He has been an instrumental inspiration to many. I used to read his books blogs and recently joined his social network at Facebook. You will find thousands of likes to his posts. It’s the power of people driven by his thoughts.

You need not be an extra ordinary human being. Anybody can do if your primary goal is to do good in social interest.

It’s a temporary phase that will pass away if you have failed to discover your happiness and love.

Just enjoy doing what your love to do. It will guide you in your journey of self discovery.