B +Ve !!

A site for all positive thinkers to grow together !

Tag Archives: self help


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LET’S FIGHT TOGETHER

Amidst the speculation and probabilities of Covid-19, I am staying home. This nature of this virus is still unknown and there is no definitive cure.

It has taken most of the countries in it’s grip. It has been declared pandemic as it can’t be confined to any boundary as of now.  States imposing curfew and we observe national lockdown for a brief period. Economy slowing down but there is no choice. Economy can bounce back when we stay healthy in a safe environment as health is wealth.

Here I remember an old proverb ‘prevention is better than cure’. Prevention is a choice when there is cure available for a disease. It becomes the only option in the absence of a cure. In present situation we can stay safe only with prevention. So, we must take every measure so as not to be caught by the virus.

There is a need to adopt healthy living standards and do better financial planning for next few months. This virus has the ability to multiply itself and live for a long period even on a non living body like a metal surface.

It can catch any healthy person when the person is exposed to the surrounding environment of already infected people in close proximity. That’s the reason we are now listening terms like quarantine and social distancing.  So, we have to protect ourselves by keeping good distance from such environment.

Let’s understand social distancing well.
This is not to hate people in our neighborhood or treat them as untouchables.  This is high time to become more social than ever before to be in sound mental health alongwith all other fellow human beings. The only need is to keep ourselves in a safe environment and it’s possible when we make the distance required.

To enable this we should stop visiting neighbours and discourage guests coming home at present. This is because the chances of infection are more in a crowded place as we are not aware of the person standing next to us if already infected. It is important to keep in mind that the symptoms of infection do not appear well at first and the infected person may appear very normal in the initial days. So, we may get caught before we actually know about the infected environment unless we keep the distance. So, prevention here is the only option.

There is no restriction on use of social media and phone calls as the virus doesn’t spread using this medium. In fact we should use digital media and all long distance mode of communication staying at home to keep in touch with our dear ones. They need our support. Let’s don’t hate pet animals. They too need our support.


This is family time and we are having great time together. I urge you too do the same with your family. This is challenging time for children and the guardians too. School going children are forced to go in summer vacation in advance. This vacation is going to last for a long time now. In this period we can’t take them outside to public places like children’s park. All sort of entertainment and refreshments has to be inside the boundary wall of our home now. We have to be more innovative how to spend quality time with them at home.

Let’s keep faith and have trust on the system. We will win this battle with a responsible and more disciplined living. Our prayers will not go in vein. Let’s stop all experimentation and try to preserve nature as it was before and naturally created by God. This time will pass and we’ll experience better time in future.


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TIME FOR OUR OWN

Time flies. We often plan activities but fail to execute in search of quality time. It’s crucial for success how we spend our time.

I have some experience I’d like to share. I am a person who loves to spend time with nature and kids. I love biodiversity. I love to watch children playing as they provide me good learning with their activities. It’s pure and godly. They do everything naturally out of their mind with less outer influence. To my good fortune i have the time now to spend time with kids.

I am passionate about reading and writing. I love to live my passion. It’s not just me but with many in my circle who want to live their passion. Though most of us like to spend quality time, many among my friends complain about better time management when they fail to do so. Me too no different.

I have divided my day to make it simple as work time, non-work time. My time away from work involves food time, sleep time, kids time, friends/family time and self time. Self time is the period i want to spend with God, nature and with my passion. At present my self time is the least of all and the least utilized time.

If you ask me how much time i would like to spend in each category, my choice would be my self time and then the required time with kids. All other time secondary to me. So, i want to increase this time.

How do you work out with your plan? Assume you have the luxury to spend all time now away from work as a sabbatical or some other category where you need not have to work at office for a month. This period you want to spend time with kids and for your passion.

How to distribute time evenly for all activity. The constraint is when you are with kids you can’t pursue your other passion as kids can’t be neglected. You must watch and observe them. Sometimes i wait for them to sleep so that i can continue with other activities. Kids love me and i can’t avoid them. You have to spend time with few kids daily in the age group one to six. You are not a mother and have no experience how to spend good time with them. Out of all time you must devote half for kids and most of the remaining as self time.

Are you struggling to find good time for your own? It’s very much essential for nourishment of our soul. If you had bitter experience in past and successfully overcome that it could provide learning material for others struggling and seeking advice.

Let all know about our experiences in past or present. We can help all by sharing information on how good or bad we managed our time in the past. What steps we took to overcome bad time management and make best use of our time.

I’d love to learn from your experience if i can relate myself and gain valuable information much needed for me.


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WHEN I AM A SLAVE OF MY MIND

I was trying to understand what blocks me think more positive. Why at times i am unable to control my mind and get carried away. I discussed with people in my community to understand if they have ever encountered such situations and how they feel that time. I asked what they do to overcome and gain more control over their mind.

In this process i came to learn great lessons from a story on mental slavery. I will narrate the story here in my words.

To be continued…


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MAKE YOUR PAST GLORIOUS

BEING IN THE PRESENT
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” We regret for our not so pleasant past as we fail to make it glorious. You don’t need a physical time machine. ”

                                   – Anonymous

Ohh No…. It should not have happened. I have lost my sleep and sweet dreams of childhood. Any such thought coming to your mind when you are already at an advanced stage in your life? No more worry now. I have a full proof solution for all.

You may find this blog title a laughing stuff at first sight. What is this all about? It this possible? You will find people easily who guide you like ‘just forget it’. Why do you want to remember something painful to you? Never ever fall to this mind game played by others. I don’t say they are not your well wishers and not asking you to ignore them.

They just have a different perspective to life as per their experience. You are not here to live their life. When shall you be able to lead your life if you entertain all these advice? Listen to your heart when you are in between a constant battle of your heart and mind.

I have a very simple question for you. Why is something painful to you and why do you get hurt easily? You can easily find the answer yourself. If you ask the same to me my answer will talk more about our mindset. Actually it’s because when we do things wrong and never because of the wrong doings by others. You have a great brain and a big heart. So, use it and discover life  in all it’s abundance full of  surprises and happiness.

We all can do it all living at our present. There is absolutely nothing to regret about or escape from. Our mind is such a big time machine. It’s cowardice to escape and we should never build such a plan in mind. To achieve this feat we need to start living life with honesty and not that of crooks.

All of us has huge storage of power and inner potential. Only very few of us recognise this fact and all they lack is the will power. Will power develops better when we think and act with our own mind and not that of others. Listen to your heart when you are in constant battle between your heart and mind.

I virtually forgot few past incidents that always resided in the memory of the subconscious mind. The decision was made in mind as that misguided me constantly telling me you must forget all these bad moments in life. I fell to the trap and did all I would have never done should I have listened to my heart.
I don’t regret but I feel like ohh my god… What a big blunder I committed as i could not bring much goodness to myself and that of others.

Yes, it’s my own deeds and never that of others. You can turn the table either in favour of you or against it by simple but powerful thoughts and unconditional acceptance.

When we live in solitude our mind becomes hyper creative full of thoughts when we revisit our past. No one there to disturb and you are on your own. Few hours of solitude daily may be good for a creative mind but too long a period could be like a prolonged illness. We need to be at a caution side in our calculations how much time we want to devote for each activity.

Many a times we face this question asked by our mind. Shall I make it, break it or simply escape. Sometimes we don’t gather enough courage to face a situation and the weaker zone of our mind guides us to escape. Is that the need for any life challenging situation? Never a good idea.

I am narrating an example. Can you face a person and look straight into the eyes whom you hurt knowingly? Imagine such a situation in your past. The ego mind may misguide you and tell you like “no no.. don’t worry too much. What you did is correct only and this person doesn’t deserve your attention”. You may escape successfully for some time listening to your mind but you can’t retain this pleasure for a lifetime.

We should not blame our heart, mind or any other entity unable to meet well a difficult situation in life. We don’t always have the same level of maturity and we grow as we learn better.  On a humane side this is quite acceptable as i feel. This learning hardly comes from text books. We must explore life to the fullest if we want to learn and understand ourselves better.

We must accept what we did wrong. Never ever try to cover up your faults citing what others doing as wrong. This will be cheating our own self. If this is true i must accept my own faults and make corrections as required. It is because my actions may not only cause unpleasant situations for myself but there is a great probability it can have adverse effect on others. I must bridge the communication gap in due time. We may find it easy to escape our present environment or this world but can never escape our own soul (what we all term as ‘zameer’ or ‘atma ki aawaz’ in the Indian context).

Do your best to find your loved ones missing now for some reason and talk to them. You may create an event to do all this like at a public function or any other public place with fresh air. Self acceptance is the key. We fail to accept our past as we fail to accept ourselves. We fail to accept ourselves most of the time because of our false ego that misguides and hurt us. We are always concerned about our reputation and social stature. Our mind gets bugged down with a fear what will happen if people come to know this.

We can never erase our scars completely unless we accept ourselves fully without any condition. Surrender yourself completely to the almighty and you can build that power. Ego will vanish when we start thinking about others. This is my personal experience and you may say it an accident.

We are responsible either for our success or failure. Why regret for unpleasant life events of our past when we can do so much good at our present.

There is no need to forget our hard past. This is an escapist attitude. It is because what we are today, our present strengths and weaknesses has been shaped by lessons learned from our past. We can do better if we are a good learner.

I don’t want to indulge with my past anymore for any bad experience and I don’t want to forget as well. It is because no experience is painful but a learning opportunity. Every situation can be faced and let’s consider our past experiences as case studies. I only have sweet memories now.
I am completely at peace and so can you.

Few suggestions as follows for a better living and thinking…

– Live in the present
– Admit your mistakes
– Accept yourself and others
– Remove all toxic elements from your life that cause you think negative time and again
– Stop conducting too much experimentation on yourself and others for which you can’t foresee the future or predict an outcome
– Accept Murphy’s law
– Talk to people as often and spend time with your loved ones
– Spend time with kids and learn simplicity from them as they are the purest souls
– Retain a strong memory and recall as you need

Let me know from your experience how you feel we can do well at our present and minimise the negative impacts of our past.


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MAKE YOUR DAY COUNT

Never feel upset you have lost one day doing nothing. Replenish yourself with renewed vigour and energy to make everyday count. Never allow any sort of negativity trap you and your determination.

There is no excuse pretending ourselves we have no time. The world outside will remain busy forever. We must find time for our inner world.

I am sharing few tips in images for  a transformed living i have learned earlier.

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It’s our duty to give time some time daily for self development. We all deserve a fulfilled living.

Let’s spend great time together and cherish our living even at solitude!


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ARE YOU ANGRY WITH YOURSELF

You should not be. It wastes a lot of our time and energy. Doing this you will cause too much harm to your own soul and why should we for no fault of ours. It may have adverse impact on your dear ones as souls are interconnected and can know about each other. They have no boundary.

I want you to ask yourself this question.  You can easily get the answer from your heart. If your answer is yes, you need therapy and some fresh air. Don’t take sleeping pills. I don’t want you to visit a psychotherapist for this; rather it’s more important to discover it yourself to derive good results that can last longer. We need to forgive ourselves quickly if we have caused anything wrong for any reason. Only a happy mind can think and do good for people.

Depression and solitude can cause anger in us. We get irritated at others on little provocation. While solitude is required at times for self discovery, at this state you need a company of like minded friends to guide you in right direction. Mingle with friends and family to change your mood and never stay alone for a long period. Choose your friends wisely. A good friend is like a treasure for you than hundred wrong people. If you don’t find any at this point of time when you need it the most  you may choose to find a good book and start reading. There are many on self help and motivation series. Make sure you spend time with good literature and avoid all polluted literature.

There are few more areas to explore in life. We often feel depressed and angry when we are unable to fulfill all our wishes. We always compare ourselves with others and create two groups – the haves and the have nots. This never ending desire can make you worried and angry. Put a pause on your thoughts, do an introspection, do some consultation if necessary and start again. This can bring all positivity to your life and can help you grow as a person improving your positive attitude towards life.

Your life is precious. I haven’t seen my past life and don’t know about my next life. So, why worry about things of the past and the unknown future. All I know I am born to do all good things in the world in this life only. We are all here for a very limited period. So we need to live in our present and share joy everywhere. We can’t change our past but we always can try and do the right things in our present. This will definitely help us build a bright future. I am not getting philosophical but we always can think and do something about it.

Don’t stop living for any reason like worrying too much about the future of your loved ones. It’s cruelty to your own soul. You can’t change everything in this world and I don’t understand why should we try that even. Just think about the creator of the universe. Don’t worry about things beyond your control. Play your role and leave the rest to God. We can think like this. The desirable change should start from me. I am the master of my own soul and can guide it do well.

Sharing a beautiful poem by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore

“Go not to the temple “~ Rabindranath Tagore

Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God,
First fill your own house with the Fragrance of love and kindness.

Go not to the temple to light candles before the altar of God,
First remove the darkness of sin , pride and ego, from your heart…

Go not to the temple to bow down your head in prayer,
First learn to bow in humility before your fellowmen.
And apologise to those you have wronged.

Go not to the temple to pray on bent knees,
First bend down to lift someone who is down-trodden.
And strengthen the young ones.
Not crush them.

Go not to the temple to ask for forgiveness for your sins,
First forgive from your heart those who have hurt you!

Happy reading, writing, speaking and doing all you love to do!

Wish you all a great future!!


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LIFE LITTLE UNDERSTOOD – A CONFESSION

A request to readers: My blog always talks about all positive aspects of life. Please don’t get surprised at all if you find all negative thoughts coined together in the following post. It has a purpose. It’s unbearable to me as well while writing this. Please bear with me.
We never know when the almighty will shower blessing on us.

A seeker asking GOD:

What do you want from me? I don’t understand your expectations. First of all tell me why did you bring me on this earth. What is the purpose behind your creation?

I am quite confused. You have chosen me to fight the war of righteousness. But am I the right person? Don’t you feel you failed in correct evaluation choosing the right person?

I need to know correct solution to my problems that was created because of my bad karma. I am feeling like a criminal now. The situation is little different and beyond my understanding.
I am myself unable to figure out whether I am innocent or guilty.
My past karma still following me.

I feel like my action and expression have caused a lot of harm to emotions of people. All that happened without my full consciousness and a long time passed now. But crime is a crime whether committed intentionally or by chance. What was an act of drama for me proved fatal to others. I am guilty and don’t want to hide myself anymore.
They are no more available to me now and I can’t say sorry.

I am taking this burden on me and spending sleepless nights. I am unable to escape myself any longer. I can’t go to past and make a correction. We are all leaders and it’s our duty to understand wishes and aspirations of our people. Why did I fail here?

To my understanding all that happened because of lack of proper communication and without my true knowledge of the self. I could have reached out to people in time and solve all issues. Instead I chose to escape myself without much thought about others. The process caused issues grew bigger over time and I am feeling helpless now.

Have I caused harm to many souls to fulfill my ego? I wouldn’t have felt much worried causing harm to a body accepting myself as a human being who can make mistakes. Our body is ever growing and changing but soul is formless. How can I forgive myself after causing so much harm to a soul making it thoughtless, speechless and inactive unable to take a decision? The soul suffered for years because of my weakness. I have committed the deadliest of all crimes that got unnoticed by people but you know this all very well. Why did you do all this using me as a medium?

What pride and reputation shall I incur killing all my fellow men? Don’t say now they are weaker souls who failed to understand me. They are not fools. Do you know why they listen to or get influenced by me? It’s only because of their love and respect for me. And you want me to kill them all citing a very strange reason telling me they are not at the side of dharma?

What is dharma and what is adharma?
You have created this beautiful world. Do you want to see people suffering and more bloodshed. Why are you doing all this? Don’t you have an idea now how to bring this war to an end quickly without further destruction to our values and conscience?

You say it’s ‘adharma’ to move back from the war of righteousness. I am not giving up but you failed to choose the right person. What is my ‘dharma’ – to kill all my fellow men, their wishes and aspirations? Who am I to decide what is right or wrong when I myself is not the correct person. I am a sinner and you want me to fight this war?

I don’t want to live life of a cheater.
Some never understood my intended message and i could not get few more and their intention. This process caused a lot of harm to society.

It’s not only your parents and other family members who care for you.
We come across many in life who love us and care for us. I never understood this truth well how people sacrificed their own wishes and dream to build mine. Why did you do this to me? What lesson do you want to teach me?

I am tired now and seeking salvation. Please select another person to fight this war if you wish. Think about others before me. I have to suffer but enjoy my karmic cycle as I understand there is no route to escape. I can’t be ever happy making others unhappy. I can forgive myself killing a body please don’t use me to kill a soul anymore.

I have suffered a lot and it’s your turn now to take an action if you love me.

Wish you a very Happy New Year!