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A site for all positive thinkers to grow together !


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YOU ARE NOT THE REASON

Don’t blame yourself for anything happening around you perceive to be wrong. Even you don’t need to worry too much about all wrong doings caused primarily because of you. You may not be the reason and a great probability of some higher force involved guiding you to perform certain act at any point of need. The force is unknown to you and so as the need.

You are just a medium. You can only play the role to your best ability as per the limitations set for you by this much greater force.

You can never know your best ability as you are not fully aware of these limitations. You have complete freedom but the limitations are not set by you.

There is always something we can do better about anything. So we should accept ourselves for all that we are doing good and for the rest that went wrong as nobody is a perfect human being.

There is nothing like perfectly right or wrong about something. We can only do better to our current performance on our next opportunity if we learn from our strengths and weaknesses. Our past performance is a psychological booster but not necessarily a determining factor for our future performance.

It’s important to set ourselves free and be in a positive mindset before we plan to do something good. Why should I limit myself when I am not the controller and not aware of all the limitations?

It’s better to assume we are limitless and having unlimited control. This will make us free from any unknown fear and will give us complete freedom to think and act on our own.

I expect you to do better to all that you are doing good now. Write to me all that I can do better I am not doing very good now.

Happy reading & writing…

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ARE YOU ANGRY WITH YOURSELF

You should not be. It wastes a lot of our time and energy. Doing this you will cause too much harm to your own soul and why should we for no fault of ours. It may have adverse impact on your dear ones as souls are interconnected and can know about each other. They have no boundary.

I want you to ask yourself this question.  You can easily get the answer from your heart. If your answer is yes, you need therapy and some fresh air. Don’t take sleeping pills. I don’t want you to visit a psychotherapist for this; rather it’s more important to discover it yourself to derive good results that can last longer. We need to forgive ourselves quickly if we have caused anything wrong for any reason. Only a happy mind can think and do good for people.

Depression and solitude can cause anger in us. We get irritated at others on little provocation. While solitude is required at times for self discovery, at this state you need a company of like minded friends to guide you in right direction. Mingle with friends and family to change your mood and never stay alone for a long period. Choose your friends wisely. A good friend is like a treasure for you than hundred wrong people. If you don’t find any at this point of time when you need it the most  you may choose to find a good book and start reading. There are many on self help and motivation series. Make sure you spend time with good literature and avoid all polluted literature.

There are few more areas to explore in life. We often feel depressed and angry when we are unable to fulfill all our wishes. We always compare ourselves with others and create two groups – the haves and the have nots. This never ending desire can make you worried and angry. Put a pause on your thoughts, do an introspection, do some consultation if necessary and start again. This can bring all positivity to your life and can help you grow as a person improving your positive attitude towards life.

Your life is precious. I haven’t seen my past life and don’t know about my next life. So, why worry about things of the past and the unknown future. All I know I am born to do all good things in the world in this life only. We are all here for a very limited period. So we need to live in our present and share joy everywhere. We can’t change our past but we always can try and do the right things in our present. This will definitely help us build a bright future. I am not getting philosophical but we always can think and do something about it.

Don’t stop living for any reason like worrying too much about the future of your loved ones. It’s cruelty to your own soul. You can’t change everything in this world and I don’t understand why should we try that even. Just think about the creator of the universe. Don’t worry about things beyond your control. Play your role and leave the rest to God. We can think like this. The desirable change should start from me. I am the master of my own soul and can guide it do well.

Sharing a beautiful poem by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore

“Go not to the temple “~ Rabindranath Tagore

Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God,
First fill your own house with the Fragrance of love and kindness.

Go not to the temple to light candles before the altar of God,
First remove the darkness of sin , pride and ego, from your heart…

Go not to the temple to bow down your head in prayer,
First learn to bow in humility before your fellowmen.
And apologise to those you have wronged.

Go not to the temple to pray on bent knees,
First bend down to lift someone who is down-trodden.
And strengthen the young ones.
Not crush them.

Go not to the temple to ask for forgiveness for your sins,
First forgive from your heart those who have hurt you!

Happy reading, writing, speaking and doing all you love to do!

Wish you all a great future!!


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LIFE LITTLE UNDERSTOOD – A CONFESSION

A request to readers: My blog always talks about all positive aspects of life. Please don’t get surprised at all if you find all negative thoughts coined together in the following post. It has a purpose. It’s unbearable to me as well while writing this. Please bear with me.
We never know when the almighty will shower blessing on us.

A seeker asking GOD:

What do you want from me? I don’t understand your expectations. First of all tell me why did you bring me on this earth. What is the purpose behind your creation?

I am quite confused. You have chosen me to fight the war of righteousness. But am I the right person? Don’t you feel you failed in correct evaluation choosing the right person?

I need to know correct solution to my problems that was created because of my bad karma. I am feeling like a criminal now. The situation is little different and beyond my understanding.
I am myself unable to figure out whether I am innocent or guilty.
My past karma still following me.

I feel like my action and expression have caused a lot of harm to emotions of people. All that happened without my full consciousness and a long time passed now. But crime is a crime whether committed intentionally or by chance. What was an act of drama for me proved fatal to others. I am guilty and don’t want to hide myself anymore.
They are no more available to me now and I can’t say sorry.

I am taking this burden on me and spending sleepless nights. I am unable to escape myself any longer. I can’t go to past and make a correction. We are all leaders and it’s our duty to understand wishes and aspirations of our people. Why did I fail here?

To my understanding all that happened because of lack of proper communication and without my true knowledge of the self. I could have reached out to people in time and solve all issues. Instead I chose to escape myself without much thought about others. The process caused issues grew bigger over time and I am feeling helpless now.

Have I caused harm to many souls to fulfill my ego? I wouldn’t have felt much worried causing harm to a body accepting myself as a human being who can make mistakes. Our body is ever growing and changing but soul is formless. How can I forgive myself after causing so much harm to a soul making it thoughtless, speechless and inactive unable to take a decision? The soul suffered for years because of my weakness. I have committed the deadliest of all crimes that got unnoticed by people but you know this all very well. Why did you do all this using me as a medium?

What pride and reputation shall I incur killing all my fellow men? Don’t say now they are weaker souls who failed to understand me. They are not fools. Do you know why they listen to or get influenced by me? It’s only because of their love and respect for me. And you want me to kill them all citing a very strange reason telling me they are not at the side of dharma?

What is dharma and what is adharma?
You have created this beautiful world. Do you want to see people suffering and more bloodshed. Why are you doing all this? Don’t you have an idea now how to bring this war to an end quickly without further destruction to our values and conscience?

You say it’s ‘adharma’ to move back from the war of righteousness. I am not giving up but you failed to choose the right person. What is my ‘dharma’ – to kill all my fellow men, their wishes and aspirations? Who am I to decide what is right or wrong when I myself is not the correct person. I am a sinner and you want me to fight this war?

I don’t want to live life of a cheater.
Some never understood my intended message and i could not get few more and their intention. This process caused a lot of harm to society.

It’s not only your parents and other family members who care for you.
We come across many in life who love us and care for us. I never understood this truth well how people sacrificed their own wishes and dream to build mine. Why did you do this to me? What lesson do you want to teach me?

I am tired now and seeking salvation. Please select another person to fight this war if you wish. Think about others before me. I have to suffer but enjoy my karmic cycle as I understand there is no route to escape. I can’t be ever happy making others unhappy. I can forgive myself killing a body please don’t use me to kill a soul anymore.

I have suffered a lot and it’s your turn now to take an action if you love me.

Wish you a very Happy New Year!


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FACING TRUTH GRACEFULLY

There are two sides of truth one ugly and another bright.  We often fail to see the bright side of it. The same truth can be good for somebody and bad for another. Do we always accept the truth?  In most cases we don’t when that’s ugly. There is no question of acceptance when it goes in favor of our will and not the vice versa.

 

It’s really difficult to accept a bitter truth. It is because of the fear of social acceptance as we feel doing so can isolate us from the rest of our society.  In this process sometimes we cause harm to others to protect our self-interest. People in power don’t hesitate to harm others to hide a bitter truth.  We are self-centered and it’s all because of our self-interest. We fail to protect a greater interest as we feel it’s not our cause of concern.

 

It will be lot easier to accept an ugly truth if we can focus our attention on contribution to society and feel ourselves an integral part of it. Nobody can live an independent life away from the society. To contribute generously we need to free ourselves from all desire and ego. Here we have saintly behavior as we don’t want to possess anything or claim something to be mine. This me and mine changes to us and ours.

 

Punishment is necessary for wrong doing as reward is there for good work. For the first time in my life i am not angry with anybody even when a decision went against my self-interest. Death is necessary for a new life and we all should welcome that if it comes our way for a good reason. We often don’t accept the truth because of fear of death. This sort of self-denial restricts further growth. If we accept the truth, death may or may not come our way. If that comes our new life will be full of glory and we can serve mankind well. If we don’t accept the truth, death is imminent. In this case we can’t serve mankind well with all past thoughts even when we get a new life.

 

In the way to contribution I have felt divine presence and guidance. I feel like what I am today and have with me now is because of my society and I need to give it back at the time of need. We all have limited span of life and we need to do more in less time. I don’t know anything that gives more happiness than the joy of giving. It gives inexplicable pleasure and satisfaction. It enriches our life and enhances the joy of living.

 

It’s far better to die accepting a truth rather to live a life on falsehood. We always try to portray an image and create false impression outside that we are not. Our judiciary will have less work to do bringing justice to people if we all accept the truth unconditionally. If all our leaders accept the truth and work in the development of people, there will be no corruption at all.

 

By accepting the truth we help ourselves and everybody in the society. Here we keep the door open for further growth. Truth only prevails and our act of acceptance cleanses our inner self – the true human being in us. Never fear death in the way of truth. Feel the divine presence and guidance. Death gives birth to a new life and helps us become better human beings.


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MY EXPERIENCE WITH EGO

Be aware!! It can make you blind. You may fail to realise the truth even with your eyes open.

I don’t know the correct definition of ego. I don’t even know if any definition can explain it properly. What i know is i understand that well now from my personal experience. Yes, we need to experience it. We can learn it better through experience only. Why am i saying so much about ego? Is it something new that i discovered a virtue or a vice?  It does not belong to any of these categories as i can’t term a person to be virtuous or vicious having ego. Why? This is because it’s a human characteristic that no human being can escape. Sounds strange? What do i mean by saying about certain characteristic that can’t be categorized as good or bad? There is a question in my mind. Is it necessary to classify something as good or bad? Not necessarily. It’s quite possible certain quality in a person can be both good and bad. I am writing about a human quality that can’t be termed good as it’s not completely bad.

One such evil quality is our ego. I can describe ego in short as me and myself.  It talks about our self-interest. It restricts us think about others and the social need. Egoistic people distort the famous dialogue by Abraham Lincoln to suit themselves. They understand the quote as “of me, by me, for me” and not that of people. Egotists always think about their own prosperity even at the cost of the society. They forget they are too a part of the society and they can’t grow at the cost of others. By growth if they understand as material growth they can’t enjoy that forever. The only good nature of our ego is it helps us love our own self that is quite natural. People who don’t understand love or can’t develop loving his/her own self can’t generate love for his/her society and environment. This self-love can help us if we keep that limited to 1 % only. If it’s 99 % unwanted we should rise ourselves above our ego.

Till now i have not wrote anything to give a correct understanding of ego. Later in this article I’ll give example to make it clearer. You may notice i have mentioned it to be a human characteristic. Yes, i mean it. Do animals have ego? If you ask me this question my answer would be “I don’t know”. If i think about personal experience and probability, I’d say no. I love animals like my mother. I am fortunate to have close association with our pets from my early childhood. I can say i have been brought up along with them and we grew together. I’ve not noticed such a quality in them ever. Human beings are bestowed with certain special qualities that are not found in animals and few ugly qualities too like the human ego.

Do animals understand ego? I think no. They are blessed with certain qualities that help them maintain harmony in the group. Are we devoid of such qualities? No, unlike other animals we are social animals. Animals do live in their society but not like that of human beings. We have developed certain other qualities that make us distinct to animals. Those can be in the goodwill of human beings or can cause problems in the society too.

 

Somebody argued they fight with each other for territory to prove their supremacy over others in the region. So they do have ego. I agree they compete with each other, but it can’t be characterized as their ego. I’d rather say it’s a survival mechanism. Unlike human beings they don’t fight for things they don’t need. Have you ever noticed how a tiger shares food with others in the group after a kill even though all in the group were not involved in the hunting? This is because they love each other and free from ego. They care for their need and not the want. They are more concerned about their basic need only that applies to humans too. The basic need is food, cloth and shelter. Their want is love, attention and compassion in their natural state. God have fulfilled their clothing need naturally by giving them thick skin/fur/feathers which condition them in every season as per need. They are in need of the rest two for which they are dependent on their environment. Due to human activities now they don’t find their natural environment in many regions where they can have sufficient food and shelter without intervention.

Let’s analyse few signs of ego. I am the best. What i know is the truth. What i think is the ultimate and all others are wrong. Others are responsible for something went wrong with me. These kind of thought will always cripple your mind when full of ego. We have two words in English dictionary to describe people having ego – one is an egoist and the other is an egotist. As per dictionary an egoist is someone who is self-centered or selfish, often without realizing it. An egotist is an arrogant or conceited person, always talking about himself. So an egotist practices ego with full consciousness unlike an egoist.

We come across many people in our life. It happens at home, at our study, at the workplace and even at public places. You might have noticed people talking about others and comparing themselves with their counterparts. Everybody does that. We do it with others at school, college, home, workplace and every other place where we get an opportunity. Is this quality a boon or bane for our personal growth and the growth of our society at large? To get an answer to this question we need to understand first our priority in life. For instance my priority is my personal growth so that I’ll live a happy life. Somebody else have a priority for his society and environment like “ Anna Hazare ” who works for social welfare. Such people are very rare in our society who works for people without any self-interest so that everybody can become happy and content.

The control mechanism one need to develop on his/her own from personal experience. The first and foremost is self-acceptance of what we are. Then we need to think how we should be in the best interest of our society. This is the starting point. This will open up a channel and give us direction for change. I’ll not write more on this. Let’s rediscover our own self first and do experiment with our ego. It will help us rise above our ego.

It’s not very much difficult to gain victory over ego. It’s a basic quality inherent in every human being. Though it’s not possible to get rid of it completely one can maintain a good balance. With proper understanding and work on our ego we can maintain a ratio of 99:1. Let’s wipe out that 99 % of ego in us and the rest 1 % will help us grow as a human being. It’s important not to lose our originality and stay as a human being. One shouldn’t try to become GOD but can inherit godly qualities for a better living.

Now i am a happy person. I don’t mean i was not happy before. I am happier now. I have gained good control over my ego. It will not direct me anymore. I’ll guide it to control my thoughts and act. What benefits can i derive by this? The most important i think it will help me become more responsible in every field. A responsible person only can think about others in the society and excel in life.

** I welcome your comments to improve this article further.


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LET’S ACCEPT OURSELVES

I was reading an article in a local newspaper few days back. It was written somewhere there that we are not just the size of our bank account, the neighborhood we live in, or the type of work we do. We are, just like everyone else, an almost inconceivably complicated mix of abilities and limitations. A new kind of New Year’s resolution is becoming increasingly popular. Instead of dwelling on something they think is wrong with them and resolving to improve, a lot of people are taking a different approach. They are resolving to accept themselves. They are good people, complete people.

I will tell you about a person who is a member of a group that spreads the acceptance philosophy. I came to know about this in a book on happiness. She explains that she used to feel like she was in a trap she could not get out of. She would try to correct herself and change herself, and the failure to change was actually worse than the original problem itself. She felt like a maniac because of the pressures to change and the weight of failure. Now she counsels accepting ourselves, which does not mean ignoring our faults or never trying to improve. What it does mean is to believe in our own value first, last, and always. Most of my friend’s have a similar idea to believe in our own value always and not to disrespect others values.

More often we find it difficult to accept the truth because of fear of its possible outcome. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy finding out fault, right or wrong about something. Eventually we could not decide about something well and live in a confused state of mind. These kinds of confusion and inability to reach a justifiable conclusion often hamper our growth process. There is a need to think differently and act according to the situation we face. We can do all these if we can accept ourselves.

Let’s have a look at a survey on adults of different age groups. In a study of adult self-esteem, researchers found that people who are happy with themselves take defeat and explain it away, treating it as an isolated incident that does not reveal anything about their ability. People who are unhappy take defeat and let it grow, making it stand for the people who they feel are the cause behind their defeat and they use it to predict the outcome of their future life events. They are usually pessimists by nature. They can’t view things positively at first in case of any such event and keep themselves worried over it for long. This is because they are not in a sound frame of mind to accept them unless and until they realize how much damage are they causing to themselves by not accepting their fault. We need to treat them with care, honor and dignity and listen to them carefully before giving them any suggestion.

Sooner we can accept ourselves; the faster will be our growth. No body can restrict our growth then. We can take the example of the former American president Mr. Bill Clinton. He accepted himself, his fault and American people allowed him to live a life with dignity in their society. Well it came after a long exercise and a grueling experience. Let’s don’t do that with ourselves. We must accept ourselves sooner than later for prosperity and growth. The more we try to escape situations the bigger will be our problem.

We often face difficulty accepting ourselves at first because of the fear of failure, rejection and often social acceptance at times. There is a need here to accept ourselves unconditionally without attempting to prove ourselves right and others wrong. Healthy discussions, arguments and conflicts are good for the growth of all. Let’s don’t try to prove others wrong just to make our point right. There is a definite way to make people understand the reality and truth about something by proper approach and discussion. We need to find that out according to a particular situation because it may vary from one situation to another. That does not mean to compromise with situations. So let’s come out of all kind of pressure, accept ourselves, life as it comes to us and help ourselves in building a convivial workplace & society at large for optimum growth.

* First published at http://writersatchatterati.blogspot.in/ on Wednesday, 26 December 2007