Here i am going to share few experiences with my life and my interaction with others so far…
From lust to love
Think of a time in your career when you are deeply in love. Some feelings developed within you but you don’t know if it is the same with the other person. You are in your late twenties or early thirties. This is the time when you are serious about a relationship and you want to build a family. All the feelings developed in you and within you. It’s never expressed and you are waiting for the right time. You’re still childish and unaware of the complexities of the world. When you find her alone somewhere you did a drama in real life. You started watching her constantly from a short distance. She knew about it but no reactions. Now you gained more courage thinking like it’s an acceptance. So, you started watching her movement for some more time. After sometime she felt uneasy and left the place. You still couldn’t start a conversation and she left with head down. You are still observing the person in anticipation if you can find either a positive or negative reaction. While going back and at a distance she stops for a while and looks back at you with a smile on her face. You don’t understand all this but you feel like on top of the world. You are in deep love and blind. No negative thought will ever come in mind when you are in love. You still don’t know the truth as the other side was not well expressed. You believe it’s love and probably it was. The other side could never express herself well for some other reason and may be under pressure.
You’re very successful at this time. No real family burden. Earning a descent salary and happy with your career. Now you want to forget your dark past and start afresh with a new beginning.
Couple of weeks passed. You are busy with your work and still thoughtful what all had happened. No further interaction could ever happen and unknown fear started germinating in your mind. You feel like you may become a loser if you do it late. You ate thinking whom to ask for help. One day you called your sister and told about this. You had shared a photograph of the person in email seeking family acceptance. Your sister understood your emotions but unable to help. She remains silent for sometime and then said it’s not the right time. Better you settle yourself well first and just concentrate on your work. You felt like you will not get any active support from family at this time.
You’re finding yourself helpless with your inability to express yourself well. You’re hiding yourself here and there and unable to attend weekly meetings for a couple of weeks. You’re thinking like what could happen at the other side of you don’t express yourself soon.
When all these thoughts boggling your mind one day you received a call from the HR department to meet them soon. A decision already made you’re not aware of. They ask you how are things going and few other questions. You’re unable to convince them. In the subsequent meeting following this you’re asked to sign a letter and go home. They said we will do all settlement and send you the letter at your home address.
Now you realise you got terminated again. You fall in love and got terminated. There is no way for a comeback. You lost your job and shivering now with unknown fear may be you’re going to lose your love as well in this process.
Alas, exactly that happened to your anticipation. You lost your job and love at the same time. Now you are dead both at your mind and heart. You are not worried about job and thinking like you may find another soon but the love is for a lifetime and you can’t afford to lose it at any cost. By this time you have already surrendered your identity and office access card. You are still thinking how to make a comeback and talk to your love once before leaving the place. In the absence of identity proof you attempted twice to meet her at office. You have no direct contact how you can call and talk to the person. Your attempt foiled as security didn’t allow you to enter the restricted area in the absence of contact person number and just with a name. They wanted to verify first with a phone whether the person i want to meet know me or not.
Now in desperation, you have lost all motivation and zeal to start again. No thought of finding another job and the only thought was to leave the place and go back home soon. After you reached home you think what to tell them. Why did i leave my job. You are now looking at the closest person in family who is not too old to you and you can share your feelings with. At this point you again thought of your elder sister and wanted to meet her for a discussion. She felt miserable and came for your rescue. I remember her saying the following words. She said no-one can help you but you. You must solve the issue yourself. You go delhi, you Bombay, the Himalayas or any other place. You will not have peace of mind until and unless you solve it. These thoughts will not leave you and you can’t get sound sleep. You must find a way to communicate her what’s in your mind.
You will be free forever once you do this successfully.
Few more thoughts to be updated here as it comes to mind…
Termination is something not well accepted in society. It can happen for a good reason or a bad one but in most cases for wrong reasons. Extreme offences like bad manners, not following policies , indiscipline , carelessness at work, inattentiveness, lack of seriousness and disregarding management decisions. If they are kind enough they may issue a service certificate and reliving letter. Else, we need to console ourselves with a termination order.
If god is not in our favour for sometime we may face extremely dire events following a termination.
This will be part of some other story some other time.
From death to life