There are many people in our life. They are our friends, brother, sister, spouse, guru (teacher), cousins and many more who have had some impact in our life. They might have helped us in building our career, at the time of a need or building us as a complete human being. Who do you think to be the most selfless person in your life? Who do you love the most? You may say i have equal love for everybody and all of them have helped me in my development. This is true as we should not discriminate as everybody plays their role at some point in our life. Have i missed anybody here? Let’s be honest. Don’t you now think of your parents?
We celebrate parents’ day on the fourth Sunday of every July. We celebrate father’s day and mother’s day separately to express our love to them independently. But i think the concept of parent’s day is unique as it has gone one step further beyond discrimination. Their love, affection and care are unconditional and should not be compared with one another. When we reflect our memory we should remember both of them together. The fathers’ and mothers’ day too should stay independent of each other without losing its essence. Everyday has its own significance. On a father’s day you may tell your mother to wait for her turn when you gift your father. If you think of buying a gift on parents’ day I’d suggest you not to choose separate gifts. We can think of something special that will unite them with you in the bond once more. They will be happier about you and come closer to your heart.
How do you feel about your childhood? All of you must have some pleasant and few bitter memories. I have a pleasant memory I’d like to share with you. When i was kid i remember guests visiting us at our home. They used to bring sweets for everybody and chocolates for me. They often ask me who loves you the most – papa or mama? I have been asked this question on several occasions in my childhood and it made me puzzled what to reply. I just looked at them and again at my parents as they both were present and one can feel bad if i tell the other as good. I could play safe in the presence of only one of my parents. These are childhood thoughts. At that age if i am right children only look for favourable conditions, a reward/praise in return. That reward could be in the form of chocolates/sweets/stickers/colour pencils/erasure or something else that entice them. And that time i was just looking to get chocolates and praise as reward for a decent job. Money never came into picture as i had no knowledge what those papers all about. Whenever i ask they used to say it’s coming from government and you will also get that when you grow up. I noticed my father counting money several times but always felt like he was playing with something as i used to play with paper boats. It’s having absolutely no significance to me.
Though we should not compare our parents still some personal liking reside in our mind. Love of one should not be compared with that of another. You ask a person and she/he will reply as 50:50 to be impartial. I don’t know if we ever had any survey of this kind. If you still insist on a choice to know the person more close to one’s heart, majority may opt for their mother i guess. I too agree nobody can take the place of a mother and that’s of universal acceptance. That does not mean your father is anyway less important in your life.
My niece now five years old reminded me of my childhood on several occasion. This is probably the reason i like children the most and always try to keep myself connected with them whenever i get an opportunity. She used to be very happy finding me at home whenever i visit my sister’s place. Her first job was to search my bag if i have something for her. If she doesn’t find anything of her like she used to take my money purse form pocket and count notes and coins. I never scold her for such act and used to observe her in her act. She’d keep all that in her little purse carefully and put that in her school bag. I just tell her not to tear off those papers and she used to respect my words. When she feels satisfied with all her play, she used to return everything to me in the evening. I’ve never lost a single rupee in this process.
I’ve noticed a very caring attitude in her at an early age. She could easily trace my mood whether i am happy or sad. Whenever she felt me sad, she used to come and ask about that. If she can’t get over my mood, she used to divert my attention somewhere else to make my happy. She’d show me her notebooks, sing rhymes and used to play with me. Children love to play more and study less. They seek love, affection and above all time from their elders to spend with them. Time is too scarce these days with working people. We should never neglect children. Parent’s responsibility is to engage them in constructive activities when they are way from school and try to spend as much time as possible at home. Those are golden days when our mind is free of all impurities. Our childhood days shape our future life.
Birds and animals too love their children. Unlike human beings they attend children till a certain age and then set them free to face the difficulties in life independently. They learn to face obstacles at an early age so that they can lead a life on their own later. Mothers play a big role in this teaching process. This is a big difference to human beings who seek love and attention throughout their life. It has both good and bad repercussions. While too much love and attention can hamper their learning process, too little of it can take them away from the society. They’ll become self-centred by this process. A perfect balance is necessary so that they learn the basic skills and become responsible citizens to lead a life conducive to the society.
When our parents grow old and become dependent on others for their basic livelihood they behave much like children. They insist for things they like and get angry with us at times. We can observe this kind of behaviour if we try to remind our childhood days. I remember this sort of behaviour with my grandmother who i cared for till her deathbed. She had a very sharp memory i remember till her last days. She loved me the most in our family and often called me to talk with me about all her feelings/need. She was very humble and never shouted at me. Whenever she observed me moving here and there at home, she used to come to me to know about the cause of my tension. She was such a good friend to me who could help me solve all my problems calmly. She had a calming effect in her talk, gesture and was an ever-pleasing personality. I was at a very young age when she passed away. During her last days i observed her losing a bit of memory but not me till the last hours of her final day when she wanted me to be with her and expressed her feelings with her body language.
Who is our creator? You may say GOD – the ultimate creator of this universe. History tells about some people to have seen and even talked to GOD like Ramkrishna Paramhamsa – The great guru of Swami Vivekananda. I’ve not seen GOD in my lifetime so far and i am not striving for that too. One thing i can say for sure. All of us who want to realize GOD can experience that in their parents. It’s often said a human body is GOD’s abode. It’s our responsibility to take care of our parents at their old age when they need it the most. They seek love, attention and care like children. Let’s pray GOD bless everybody with loving parents and caring children.
Happy Parents’ Day to all once more!!